I have a friend, who was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer a year ago this month. She turns 40 next week.

It had spread to the liver.

She had three rounds of chemo and surgery twice. Once for a colostomy, and once to remove the tumours on the right node of the liver. It was during the liver surgery, that they noticed the spots on the left node. That was about six months ago.

That effected the third chemo treatment.

She was going to have the colostomy removed tomorrow. I called her last night.

The tumours on the left node have grown. The colostomy is not being removed. There is an experimental drug, that he has been approved to use on her, for another hugely aggressive round of chemo. She mumbled something about the drug only prolonging the life for another six to eight months. Then she asked me to attend her oncologists appointment with her next week, on her 40th birthday. The she stated something about the drug costing 5 grand per treatment and she has eight treatments per round. Then she said.."I'm fucked".

He wants the chemo to start now. She doesn't have $40,000 bux. The province won't cover the drug, it's experimental.....she's sick, whose going to loan her the money?

Oh Grace, don't fail me now.

Family Law

My children's lives, are bizarre lives..:)

It's been almost ten years since the divorce was final and my kids are still going through turmoil at the hands of adults.

My divorce settlement was quite simple. X amount of dollars for child support, I got the house, he got the debt (to which I contributed 1/2 in it's repayment, visitation rights every second weekend, and as many nights a week as he wanted.

In Ontario, child support is determined by the payor's income, no questions asked, unless you opt out. I opted out. I asked for a lesser amount, in order that he could afford a place for himself and enough room for the kids.

It's been a tumultous ten years, to say the least..:)

In about the year 1999, the girlfriend moved in with him, on the premise it would only be a few weeks. She hasn't left and they have since purchased a home together, small and cozy with a finished basement.

In 2005, my daughter entered a Nursing program, and in exchange for child support, she moved into the basement of their home, along with her partner. They were having a difficult time holding down jobs and an apartment and going to school, so it worked out well. Until now..:)

The girlfriend seems to have gotten them into a bit of a financial nightmare due to an insurance claim, and she is now serving them notice that the 'in-law suite' will be rented to them at a cost of $640.00 per month..huh?

Along with that notice was a whole slew of rules:

They cannot use the bedroom space in the apartment
They must allow the "owners" a whole day in order to do laundry (the only laundry services are in the basement)
They will keep their shoes out of the front entrance
They will purchase contents insurance
They can only use the kitchen facilities when the 'owners' are not home (they have no kitchen in the basement)
blah blah blah blah...

The ex would not sign the rental agreement prepared by his girlfriend..

As of May 1/08 the rent is due...lol..

This is what my daughter found out in a span of 2 days..

-The father must provide a space for the daughter until she is 25, if she is still in school
-an 'in-law suite' in this province...is exactly that..specifically for in-laws
-contents insurance cannot be purchased if there is no separate locked entrance (there isn't)
-her partner technically does not spend the night there (She works 10:30 pm to 7am)and they spend most weekends elswhere, so she may not necessarily be classed a tenant
-the area in which they lived is not zoned for apartments
-legal aid will cover the cost of her lawyer

What's sad?

Her father isn't condoning it on one hand, but he isn't stopping the process on the other...

May 1st is fast approaching...if I know my daughter, there will be no rent cheque

The new man in my life...

Nobody chooses dysfunction, conflict, pain. Nobody chooses insanity. This happens because there is not enough presence in you to dissolve the past...You are not fully here. You have not quite woken up yet. In the meantime, the conditioned mind is running your life....if you are one of those people who have an issue with their parents, if you still harbour resentment about something they did or did not do, then you still believe they had a choice--that they could have acted differently. It always looks as if people had a choice, but that is an illusion. As long as your mind with its conditioned patterns runs your life, as long as you are your mind, what choice do you have? None. You are not even there. The mind-identified state is severely dysfunctional. It is a form of insanity. Almost everyone is suffering from this illness in varying degrees. The moment you realise this, there can be no more resentment. How can you resent someone's illness? The only appropriate response is compassion. (Eckhart Tolle The Power of the NOW p 190.)

That is a scene from this morning.





This is where I will be in a few months:










Doing this:












And maybe some of this:









Blogger is tough to get used to when posting images..:)

March Madness

Work has gone into mad. Instead of having the last week of March off, I find myself working, if not for my Employer, for my Union, and for several members who are having some major issues.

Today was supposed to be meetings, Monday was supposed to be presentations, Tuesday through to Thursday is another three days attempting to implement a new initiative for a Union/Management approach to solving issues in an informal manner, rather than a formal manner..ie grievance.

Yesterday, I made a decision. Today was going to be an off day, as well as Monday. Phone calls were made, presenters were found, meeting dates changed and I slept in until 8:30..:)

I like this place where I am now. It feels good to not stress about issues of no importance, really. Meetings can be changed, other people can do my job, and some are even wont to return favours done in the past, in a pay it forward kind of way.

Not that stress never appears, it's just a different stress, I guess...:)

This week, I sat in a room with a bunch of young, up and coming managers. Some there due to merit, others there because of who they know, all of them rareing to do the job in the best way they know how. Some are open to new ideas, and new ways of doing things, others are staunch in their belief that the bottom line is budget and the people don't fit in there period...we don't care if you are happy, we pay you good money, do your job..:)

I sat there with five other Union representatives and rhymed off local policies, legislation, Acts of Parliament, as these people on the other side of us, sat quiet and honestly admitted they wouldn't know how to find them, nor did they know some of them existed.

How, do you, as a responsible Employer, not train your staff? Especially those who are supposed to be looking over their flock?

So, although I am off this weekend, it will be spent, doing some powerpoint presentations for those who manage me...:)

Forced Hiatus

OT is kicking my ass...